Hindi Ako Bilingual, I'm not Bilingual

The mind of a 5yr old living in the Philippines is the most joyous and momentous imagery, seeing the rich luscious green and running on the Springfield's, then I turned 6 and moved to UAE then ‘BAM’ my linguistic struggles began. The little fragile 6 yr old child began to move around his newly confined international school where bright wide eyes of different ethnic children look directly at you, while you mumble and jumble the words “Herro, My narm is Darniel” around the school. These small judgmental, reprobate little bums have the nerve to tell me “what are you saying?” as they ran back to their little cubies where they pretend they own an aristocratic accommodation with gender-specific roles such as ‘wife’ and a ‘husband’ while one kid, whose smaller than the others, “ambiguously” pretends to be a child, hell why not add a dog while they're at it.


Back to oriented virtual discussion. As time would progress classes were mostly awkward for me, discussing in groups was the hardest. Discussing and being assertive wasn't my forte, I’ve conflicted myself with the inability to proper English, my accent was heavy and loud, my grammar is severely broken thus my emotions have always been suppressed.

It was preemptive to learn the language so I did. Mainly through video games and not-so-informative videos... Through efforts and vigorously staring at my T.V screen, in just after a few years I’ve easily adapted to English, placing myself into different international schools to fully embody and develop my English. After being embezzled with the English culture, the disbandment for my native language has been gradually corroding. So much, in fact, I’ve begun separating myself from my native culture. Lately, I’ve been forcefully placed into social events, mostly Filipino based events, it's awkward because the majority were placed in small groups having to “interact” with one another, this created a major separation between an already impedimental language barrier and their discomforting view towards someone who lost his heritage made it more uncomfortable. The social event wasn't working out so I decided to vacate the event and try my attempts through sports and physical activities, I’ve inserted myself in physical activity with a high populace of Filipinos where I not only develop my skills and physique, I’ve also inhabited the activity for the added benefit of learning and developing my lost language. So far I’ve retained some of my cultural standpoints, and know some insulting and vulgar words and common phrases, speaking in a disorientated grammar. Though I am not articulate yet to fully say “I'm bilingual” but I can say “Hindi ako bilingual”.

Comments

  1. Daniel, your memoir was really interesting to read, about your switch from the Filipino community to the UAE and then joining Filipino communities again. The same thing happens to me when I return for holidays in Greece. This took me with you to a journey along your childhood and your troubles as a kid with learning English. The only thing that I had a problem is that sometimes I didn't understand the writing because of the comas and the wrong grammar as well as making long sentences. Although you made some mistakes, your memoir resembles a story of your childhood, which was a vivid experience for me to read.

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